Any action that causes a person to feel stifled, caged or otherwise controlled, threatened is not appropriate in a relationship and especially not a marriage. However, it's a good thing to be unyielding in your desire to love, cherish, connect with and show affection towards your mate.
Are You the Clingy Type?
When I asked this question to someone, their response was a resounding "No, I'm not"! I too have never wanted to be clingy towards anyone and definitely did not want anyone to be clingy towards me!
I remember when I was around 15, attending my first sleep-away camp for two weeks. I had a great time and formed some good friendships with friends my age. I met a guy a year older than me who had an immediate crush on me. He was kinda cute, chubby and a little like the 'teddy bear' type. Nothing ever made him mad! He graced me with his presence every day. When we had co-ed activities together, daily, he would always search me out, no matter how I tried to diss him, he still came back! I'd try to hide because he was irritatingly sweet to me and always wanted to be close, try to hold my hand or give me a love note! I was so not interested in him but couldn't get rid of him. He was not exciting enough for me, too quiet, too eager to please and it annoyed me to no end!!! I'd make up all kinds of excuses not to be around him, (all of which were probably not true). I was relieved at the end of camp, that he did not live anywhere near me and could not easily visit. He asked for my address (no cell phones back then, thank God!), so that he could write to me. I was too nice to tell him no. So, he wrote to me within three days of being home from camp! I did not answer any of his letters, and eventually, he stopped writing.
Clingyness is associated with neediness, insecurity, instability and in some cases control. Most of us don't think of clinginess as anything we'd want to display even if we felt like clinging!
So let's explore this thing of clinging. What does it mean to cling anyway? I think we all understand the meaning quite clearly so I don't want to be redundant here. It means all the above, (except for 'control', which is negative), to stick or adhere to; tenacity or tenaciousness. How can clinging be tenacious? Well, no matter what anyone says against it a person who clings cannot be put off or stopped or convinced otherwise. They stick to you like glue, give and receive affection constantly without getting tired! They thrive on your affection and attention.
Let's look at a biblical example of the type of clinging that is a righteous, a trait that God expected from His people Israel: (the Bible uses the word cleave which means cling, or adhere to. So from here, we will use the Hebrew word 'dabaq' which means to cleave.
GOD called Israel, in Jeremiah's time, his loincloth. He told the prophet to get a linen girdle and put it on his loins and wear it without getting it wet. He was to wear it for a while without taking it off! (Jer. 13:1-2)
This does not sound like something we would want to do, but, being an obedient Prophet Jeremiah did exactly as God told him to do. The symbol of a loincloth is used as an example of the way that God's people were intended to cling to Him, wearing Him like a garment. Israel was Yahweh's "loincloth" so to speak, clinging to him at all times! He wanted them to always be with Him so he could cover and protect them, love them, guide them and always provide for them, pouring out his strength to them in battle, etc. Wherever they went He went with them. He'd make sure their pathway was clear and whatever He told them to do they did it because they knew he was looking out for their best interest. What happened?
God told Jeremiah the prophet to take the linen girdle to a certain city, near the Euphrates and hide it there in a hole of the rock. (Jer. 13:3-4). So, he did what the Lord told him to do and hid the girdle in the crevice of a rock. He went his way and some days later God told him to go and dig up the loincloth. After digging it up Jeremiah found that it was decayed and totally useless! (Jer. 13:6-7) Then God said to Jeremiah, after this same manner I will mar the pride of Judah and the great pride of Jerusalem. God said, This evil people which refuse to hear My words, which walk in the imagination; of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing! (Jer.13:9-10)
Here was God's intention in causing them to cleave/cling...For as the girdle cleaves unto the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto Me the whole house of Isreal and the whole house of Judah, says the Lord; that they might be unto me for a people, for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory: but they would not hear! Just think of the benefits they could've had!
God made the point to Jeremiah that with all the benefits that God provided for the house of Judah and Jerusalem, they turned away from God and became totally useless! Their hearts were turned away from God, they were going their own way and being led into a condition of captivity. They were no longer clinging to Yahweh, they turned to idols, left their first love and became useless as vessels for His glory. This caused Yahweh to back off and turn them over to what they wanted, and their troubles overwhelmed them until some were destroyed and some were taken into captivity and some were scattered! No longer did they have the security of His protection.
"Cling to me my children and do not let anything, or any person, or any circumstance, or situation, or any physical thing to get in between us. For the love that I have for you is the love that my Father has for me and for you (his People). It is wonderful to share this love with you, to know that you love me and that your heart is fixed on what I've given you, gives me joy for me and my Father are One and everything that we represent I am sharing with you, the love, the joy, the peace and all of this is yours, my children." says the Lord. "This is the benefit of clinging to Me, says the Lord, you will never fail for I will show you what to embrace, what to let go, I will warn you of things that are coming." (Holy Spirit Message excerpt 2014)
Yahweh wants you to prosper, make you great and fill you with joy. We must grab ahold of that and not let it go. Cling to Him and wear Him like a garment. We have to know when to move forward when to rest, when to go through the valley, when to go over the mountain, when to turn and go the other way! Who wouldn't want this kind of help to bring security into their lives!
So, Are You The Clingy Type?
Let's look at some other verses of the bible to see if this is something we should consider:
Deut. 10:20 You shall fear the Lord your God; he shall you serve, and to him shall you cleave,...
Deut 11:22 For ye shall diligently keep all these commandments which I command you, to do, to love the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, and to cleave unto him;
Deut 13:4 Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep His commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.
Jos 22:5 But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the LORD charged you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.
Act 11:23 Who, when he came and had seen the grace of God, was glad, and exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord.
Rom 12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
These scriptures are talking about cleaving, clinging to the Lord! So that tells me that the same way my irritating friend was clinging to me, that's how I should be clinging to the Lord in everything!! Only God is not irritated with us when we cling to Him, in fact, He loves it and commands us to cling unto Him! So that we have all of what he wants to give us!
When we cling to our heavenly Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, the benefits of your life will be that all will begin to see you in a new light! You will have a change of heart, a new outlook on life, security, protection, a sense of well being, direction when things seem blurred, knowing when to climb the mountains, go around the mountain, or go through the mountains of your life; you will be prepared for what's coming ahead of you, you will never fail or be shaken by evil!! What a wonderful and loving Father we have that cares for us.
Psa 103:2-6
Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;
Who redeemeth thy life from destruction;
Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;
Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle.
The LORD executeth righteousness and judgment for all that are oppressed!
Written by: Rakhel Baht BinaYah
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